Top Tunes – June 2023

A little late to the game (it’s mid July as I am writing this) but here are my Top Tunes for June 2023:

I’ve been listening to music this month mainly going to and fro the daycare (where I am currently employed) I’ve also been doing administrative work and I like to listen to some tunes when organizing and filing so here’s what’s making it right now.

#5 ‘right where you left me (bonus track)’ – Taylor Swift, Evermore

I like this one. Evermore deserves so much more hype than it gets. ‘right where you left me’ resonates with me though because I’ve recently been kinda on about my current employment and living situation. I’ve realized that while it seems that everyone around me has left and gone to school in new places or gotten new jobs, I am still at the same place I’ve been in since 10th grade. Same job, same house. I need to remember though that not everything is the same. For some reason (perhaps consumer-capitalism and exponential consumption) I feel that I need to have changed more, acquired more, in order to be successful. Albeit, if I really look at my life it has totally changed since 10th grade. Yes, same job, same house. But I’m in a different room in the house, I’ve got the same job and three more on my belt now, I’ve got two awards, four scholarships, a car, one more cat, then one less cat, one less dog, way more Chiltern Editions than my $14.85/hr 16 year-old self could imagine, I participated in a research fair, I made (some) new friends, I bought new pants, I went to Montreal, I went on my first solo road trip, I learned to crochet, I am getting help for my OCD and anxiety, I was promoted (thrice) at that same job I started at 16 where I was the youngest and less experienced out of everyone. But all that aside, this song is for when I’m caught up in all of it. Thinking that the girls I went to high school with who now live the big cities have it all together and I’m forever stuck in my hometown (the summer trip to Europe Instagram pics don’t help). In this song, Taylor is sitting in the restaurant, stuck right where they left her. I like to think sometimes that I’m stuck right where other people have left me. But rather than being in a tacky restaurant (ew.) I’m in the woods, going through years and years of not moving a bit. Not flickering, not talking, just waiting. For something, someone. I’m not sure what yet because the daydream hasn’t brought me there yet. But just like Taylor, dust is collecting on my pinned-up hair and I’m haunting the woods, moss grows on my toes, leaves and twigs abound me, roots trickle over and under me, birds and squirrels scurry past me. I am right where they left me. Waiting. It’s a spooky thought. I’m not sure why I’m like this, perhaps I read one too many books or was dropped on my head as a baby. I really should get more friends instead of daydreaming about becoming one with nature and haunting the woods. If I ever did this the poor people on the hiking trails are going to look at me like I’m insane and that won’t help me make any new friends either; thus, exacerbating the need to go mope in the woods. Gosh.

Everybody moved on

Help, I'm still at the restaurant 
Still sitting in the corner I haunt 
Cross-legged in the dim light 
They say "What a sad sight"
I, I stayed there 
Dust collected on my pinned-up hair
#4 ‘Sidelines’ – Wallows, Nothing Happens

‘Sidelines’ is a song that I listen to in the car most of the time. It’s just groovy. I don’t really connect with the lyrics as much as I should, but idk there’s something about a nice sunny day with Wallows on the aux…. I also like it at night though, especially the other song on their album called ‘Do Not Wait.’ The two back to back make a good combo at night. Coming home from a babysitting shift at 2am and I get all existential sad by ‘Do Not Wait’ then all groovy-dance-karaoke-time with ‘Sidelines.’ It also goes nicely when I need motivation to keep on working or getting up to clean my room. It’s an all around good time, that’s really all I got to say about this one.

I know I drew the line
Can we erase it?
We're living in denial 
But we can change this 
And I drove all night until I started to cry 
All because I saw a world without you and I 
Don't let this conversation die
#3 ‘Levitation’ – Beach House, Depression Cherry

This is the “its two am I can’t sleep and I want to think of something” song. It’s calm, it’s existential. It’s a song you listen to in the summer when you’re biking by a wildflower field or driving by the river and the breeze is in your hair, the light is trickling through the green trees. It’s just a vibe. Then, when it’s dead middle winter, everything is gross, cold, icy, muddy, dead and all the food you eat are some sort of potato and the fruit tastes like nothing, you can’t sleep, you can’t read, you just want to feel, you ask your little HomePod to play this song as you lay like a mummy in your bed and visualize summer and the aforementioned trees, the breeze, the glistening lakes, chirping birds, etc. Unfortunately, yes this is my typical winter behaviour. I am of firm belief that winter should not exist. Or rather, we should not be expected to do anything other than cozy up and read in winter. I don’t like potatoes, stews, nor coffee. I like Christmas, but I hate watching everything around me die and the animals leave to hibernate or go south. I want to wake up to the sun. I want to hear sound outdoors other than car engines revving and revving and slush gunk on my feet. I wan to be sure-footed and not almost die on the STU campus outdoor staircases because of all the fucking ice everywhere. I want to cocoon into a hole in a tree or in a little hibernation hut and wait this all out. I’ll munch on dried summer berries and sustain my mind in daydreams. Anyway, this song and others I have are nice to play when I’m spending time outside because for some reason when I play them back months later the good memories still stay. So anyway, I’m playing this one as much as I can for bed-ridden, three sock wearing, emotionally numb essay writing Emma who will inevitably possess me mid-December to early January until April. Can’t wait.

The Branches on the trees 
They will hang lower now 

You will grow too quick
Then you'll get over it 
#2 ‘Malibu’ – Sharon Van Etten, Remind Me Tomorrow

This song makes me thing of life. Just how it goes by. I was a kid, now for some reason I’m an adult. But I feel more like a kid than I did when I was a kid because I was acting like an adult then even though I had no idea wtf I was doing. This is another in the car driving by wildflowers song. Remind me Tomorrow, to me is just filled to the brim with childhood nostalgia and the crippling doom of adulthood. Great times. I’m scared.

In a little red car that don't belong to you
Yeah, that little red number
Driving down the one
#1 ‘Medicine’ – Momma, Household Name

Number one for the month is ‘Medicine.’ I don’t particularly care for the lyrics, but this is an artist that my sister introduced to me when she was visiting this June and it was playing as we were driving around to go do things around town, go kayaking, and other general sister shenanigans. Every time I play it now it makes me think of me and my bro roaming the hometown on a summer day, just being girls and doing what girls do. This for sure will be a song I listen to in the future and will always take me back to summer 2023 just like ‘Don’t Delete the Kisses’ was my summer song from 2022.

One shot
I never really cared a lot 
I'm on a bender 
and I'll never stop
Honorable Mentions

‘So Much Wine’ – Phoebe Bridgers, So Much Wine EP

‘Simulation Swarm’ – Big Thief, Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You

‘Bros’ – Wolf Alice, My Love is Cool

‘Blue Hippo’ – Maya Hawke, Blue Hippo Single

‘The Path’ – Lorde, Solar Power

‘Radio’ – Lana Del Rey, Radio